Category Archives: tv

Friday Flashback: Give Us A Clue

If you’re a regular listener to the Radio 4 panel game ‘I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue’, you’ll know that there are numerous references to Lionel Blair and his stint on the TV gameshow of the 80s and 90s, ‘Give Us A Clue’. He doesn’t come out of it well at all.

My clip today is an edition of that very show. And the first remarkable thing you’ll see is a show opening that, as far as I know, is unique in television history (possibly with good reason!): an opening theme tune that actually segues into host, team captain and guest panellist introductions! It’s also probably the cheesiest introduction ever to a piece of light entertainment and I love it! (Although I always wondered what would have happened if one of the captains had been ill and needed to be substituted. How would they have started the show? It gave me sleepless nights, I can tell you.)

So enjoy the first 18 minutes of the show with Bernie Winters, Mary Parkinson, Leslie Ash, Barbara Knox, Bernard Cribbins and Derek Griffiths with the regular hosts, and ask yourself the following questions:

Why does Michael Parkinson resemble one of Jim Henson’s muppets when he’s nodding?

Where’s Schnorbitz?

AND

What the hell was Barbara Knox thinking!?

Friday Flashback

Every Friday I’ll be bringing you a clip from olden times, when televisions only showed television programmes and a fifth terrestrial channel meant tuning in to a snowy picture from a neighbouring ITV region.

This week, a clip from a little-remembered sketch series that spoofed British TV of the 1970s. It was called ‘End of Part One’ – a rare quality offering of comedy from an ITV company (LWT) that was an early result of writing partners David Renwick and Andrew Marshall. They would later go on to write ‘One Foot in the Grave’ and ‘2.4 Children’ among other successful shows.

This clip sends up cheap animation of the kind that was popular in the 1970s. If you’re of a certain age, you might recognise the voice of a stalwart of radio and TV comedy of the time, Fred Harris.

Christmas TV: Not As Good As It Used To Be?

1974 vs 2014

There were only 3 UK TV channels forty years ago, in 1974. One of them, BBC1, was the natural home of Christmas viewing. But with stretched budgets and increased competition, is it still the case? Let’s compare, hour by hour, BBC1’s offerings for Christmas 1974 and 2014:

9-10am

1974: A traditional start: the end of ‘Carols from Canterbury’. Then we have ‘Camberwick Green’ and ‘Cartoon Christmas Box’ with some stories told by Peter Ustinov. A very Christmassy start – 7/10.

2014: ‘The Gruffalo’ is followed by ‘On Angel Wings’ – a reworking of the nativity. Kids love ‘The Gruffalo’. I reckon this is a tie – 7/10.

10-11am

1974: A Christmas Appeal for the National Deaf Children’s Society, followed by Christmas Morning Service from a small village near Glasgow. Worthy programming, following the traditional theme you might expect in the early 70s. 7/10.

2014: ‘Come and Join the Celebration’ – A Christmas morning service for all the family, with popular carols and ‘contemporary songs’. Hmm. I can see this being presented by someone from the One Show in a desperate attempt to fulfil the religious remit without scaring the horses. Not convinced. 5/10.

11am-12pm

1974: Here we go with some typical ‘70s light entertainment: ‘A Stocking Full of Stars’ featuring Showaddywaddy, Basil Brush and someone who’s currently in prison. It probably went down quite well at the time. 4/10.

2014: Only Fools and Horses – Christmas Special from 1986. Even though it’s a repeat, I’d rather this than music from the Bert Hayes Sextet. Which is probably very unfair. 6/10.

12-1pm

1974: Laurel and Hardy in ‘Way Out West’. A classic, and some good laughs for Christmas. 7/10.

2014: Wallace and Gromit’s Grand Day Out and another animation: Gnomeo and Juliet. Wallace and Gromit are Laurel and Hardy in clay. 7/10

1-2pm

1974: ‘Holiday on Ice’. Oh dear. This sounds a bit low-rent. Filmed in Zurich, it sounds like an hour of very cheap television. 5/10.

2014: Shaun the Sheep and BBC News. Shaun wins hands down. 7/10

2-3pm

1974: Top of the Pops with Abba, Charles Aznavour and David Essex. But alas, it’s presented by you-know-who. And Tony Blackburn. 4/10.

2014: Top of the Pops, presented by Reggie Yates and Fearne Cotton. Whereas in 1974, one of the presenters was a criminal, now it’s just the music. I think I’d rather watch the 70s version, but with the tracksuited one edited out. 3/10.

3-4pm

1974: The Queen, followed by Billy Smart’s Christmas Circus. Oh dear. One mark for the Queen. 1/10.

2014: The Queen, followed by Puss in Boots. Much better. 7/10.

4-5pm

1974: Movie: True Grit starring John Wayne. This movie was 5 years old when it was shown here. Still, there’s something nice about an afternoon movie, even if it’s not particularly Christmassy. 5/10.

2014: More Puss in Boots, then more news. There’s a 24-hour news channel, BBC! How much news do we need at Christmas! There’s not been any yet in 1974! Obsessed, you are. 3/10.

5-6pm

1974: Still the film. 5/10

2014: Christmas Strictly! Always sparkly for Christmas. Despite doddery Brucie.8/10.

6-7pm

1974: Bruce Forsyth and the Generation Game! And 1974 sideburned Brucie trumps 2014 doddery Brucie every time – so an easy 9/10 here. How has he managed to be on TV at virtually the same time 40 years apart!? Quite remarkable.

2014: Doctor Who. With Father Christmas. Meh. It’ll be popular, but will it be good? 8/10.

7-8pm

1974: Some Mother’s Do ‘Ave ‘Em. It’s Jessica’s First Christmas – and Frank gets to star in the play. ‘Some Mothers’ was always great value, with lots of slapstick. 8/10.

2014: Miranda. Looks like the schedulers have taken inspiration from 1974! Is Miranda better than Frank Spencer? Not quite, I would say, as it is paying homage to same. 7/10.

8-9pm

1974: The Mike Yarwood Christmas Show. The only guest star listed is Max Bygraves, but it could have been worse. I guess Mike Yarwood played all the rest. Yarwood was always a little bit low-rent compared to Morecambe and Wise though. 6/10.

2014: Call the Midwife Christmas Special. Quality stuff from the Beeb. A 21st century win. 8/10.

9-10pm

1974: Movie: Bridge on the River Kwai. Quite an old film to be putting on at Christmas, BBC. I’m sure you could have done better. 5/10.

2014: Eastenders. It had to appear somewhere in the schedule. Like the weed that wouldn’t die. Do we really want this grimness on Christmas day? I’d rather watch Alec Guinness. 4/10.

10-11pm

1974: Still the film: 5/10

2014: Mrs Brown’s Boys. Not my cup of tea, but a bit of a laugh for Christmas night. 6/10.

11pm-midnight

1974: Parkinson takes a look at Morecambe and Wise. Alas! 1974 was the only year with Morecambe and Wise at the BBC when there was no Christmas show. Instead, Parkinson interviewed the duo, interspersed with clips. Still essential viewing, though. 8/10.

2014: Michael McIntyre’s Christmas Show. Sorry Michael – you’re no Eric Morecambe. 5/10.

 

So, which TV viewers have got it better? My totals are:

1974:   86/150

2014:   91/150

So there you have it! This year’s festive telly from the Beeb is better than it used to be! You’ve never had it so good! Tell yourself that when you’re peering at Mrs Brown’s Boys through a haze of Advocaat-induced nausea.

Good F***ing Morning Britain

Flicking quickly through the TV channels this breakfast time, I was disturbed to briefly catch Susanna Reid on ‘Good Morning Britain’ calling someone a f***ing w***er live on air! Surely, I thought, this is not the way for ITV to improve flagging ratings. So I flicked back and was relieved to find that she was just reading a story about the abdication of King Juan Carlos.