Friday Flashback: Carry On Matron
It’s a saucy one this week – Kenneth Williams gets all fruity with Hattie Jacques. There’s nothing else needs saying, except…
“Get your cruet out!”
Share gazuky:
There’s More To Discover
There’s no worse retailer than WH Smith,
With prices are so high that they’re taking the piss.
When it comes to poor service, they’re out on their own,
Half-arsed and half-baked with half-priced Toblerone.
Share gazuky:
Seaside ‘essentials’
Esquire magazine has helpfully provided a list of seaside essentials in its May edition, for those who want to look stylish on the beach. So, mums and dads, here’s what you need to pack into the back of your Ford Fiesta before you set off for Skeggy:
Tan leather tote bag by Tod’s – £1190
Ralph Lauren swim shorts – £315
Navy suede loafers by Dior Homme – £490
Beach towel by Hermes – £370
Hackett sweater – £180
J Crew sunglasses – £120
Gucci sandals – £455
Orlebar Brown polo shirt – £95
Your trip to beach, then, coming in at a mere £3215. (Add a tenner for parking and an ice-cream.)
If you want to see a recording of the meeting that produced this list, click on the link here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dazSPBwVVwM
Share gazuky:
Good F***ing Morning Britain
Flicking quickly through the TV channels this breakfast time, I was disturbed to briefly catch Susanna Reid on ‘Good Morning Britain’ calling someone a f***ing w***er live on air! Surely, I thought, this is not the way for ITV to improve flagging ratings. So I flicked back and was relieved to find that she was just reading a story about the abdication of King Juan Carlos.
Share gazuky:
Qatar World Cup Comment
Satirical comment on the current Qatar World Cup situation.
Share gazuky:
Collect Gazuky Points
I’ve decided to start my own loyalty scheme. Well it works for Tesco’s. I’ve thought it through very carefully in the couple of minutes since I came up with the idea and here’s how it will work:
You earn gazuky points for every interaction on the blog:
1 point for a social media ‘Like’
5 points for a comment
10 points for a nice comment
You can then redeem them later for shits and giggles (mostly giggles, TBH). I haven’t really thought this through, so bear with me. One point is worth 30 giggles. Or 5 shits. I really don’t know where I’m going with this.
Anyway, I’ll keep tally of the points so I won’t have to issue any cards. I don’t know about you but my wallet is already stuffed with Nectar this and Loyalty that. There was a time when a wallet was for money. No fucking chance of that now.
Anyway, I’m offering 50 bonus gazuky points to the first person who can guess what this line that I’ve just written is describing:
“Like dragging a golf umbrella down a chimney.”
Good luck!
gazuky.com 