Spotted!

Charlotte Church playing chess with a tramp in Hereford.
Hugh Grant buying Anusol in the Wigan branch of Boots.
David Soul whistling at swans in Hyde Park.
Anneka Rice shopping for mittens.

 

Audio Update 1

If you’re like me, you probably can’t bear to miss a single microgram of news about our celebrity cousins, which is why we’re bringing you Topical Pish audio updates at least once a week! Hosted by Justin, they’ll bring you bang up-to-date on who’s in, who’s out, who’s up, who’s down, who’s on top and who’s on cable channels presenting Diamonique bangles.

Click the button below, or download direct here

 

Heinous Hearsay

Which former Blue Peter presenter admits spending their summer expedition air-fares on prostitutes and then faking the reports from Whipsnade Zoo?

 

Arise, Sir Shagalot!

Good morning to you.

Thanks to a rather indiscreet lady who last night took quite a liking to my monocle, I can exclusively reveal who will be getting gonged in the New Year’s Honours List (or should that be Lust – ho ho!) a full 6 hours ahead of the official announcement!

Here are my revelations:

Russell Brand is knighted for services to the condom industry.

Paris Hilton receives an MBE for services to comedy.

Sir Richard Branson receives a second knighthood, becoming ‘Sir Sir Richard’ for services to Cheltenham Spa, Birmingham New Street, and London Euston.

Justin Lee Collins becomes an MBE in an attempt to make him look respectable.

Steve McClaren is knighted for services to the turnip industry.

Vernon Kaye becomes a CBE for services to autocue manufacturers.

And Mrs Enid Witherington – a cleaner from Stoke – becomes an OBE for services to the justification of the honours system.

Who do YOU think should have been honoured, and why? Comment away, dear readers!

Yours,
Tuppy

 

Heinous Hearsay

Which former member of Take That can never find his car keys when he needs them?