Hearsay


Which politician is so dull he sent his entire entourage to sleep on a train up to Manchester, forcing them to spend thousands on cabs home when they woke up in Abergavenny?

Which professional footballer is now so tattooed, his bed-sheets act like blotting paper when he sweats?

Which foul-mouthed chef is so desperate to be on telly, he was seen plucking a pheasant on CCTV at the Coventry branch of Boots?

That’s ‘plucking pheasant’. Unlike his language…

;-)

A news-reading fish.
Which BBC newsreader is such a workaholic that he insists on reading the Daily Mail aloud to his family through the serving hatch at breakfast?

Which former Blue Peter presenter admits spending their summer expedition air-fares on prostitutes and then faking the reports from Whipsnade Zoo?

Which former member of Take That can never find his car keys when he needs them?